The Bond of Teetar...

A beautiful wimmens walking Major's goat

I have no clue who this “well travelled, highly ejjucated, critical thinker” is on Teetar, but I am majorly addicted to his teets and miss the profoundness on his timeline when he decides to take-off to burn “NATO trucks”. Like now (OUTRAGE!)

Since majorlyprofound teets like no one else, he does appear to be far more ejjucated than other beepuls oph Teetar. His popularity has grown manifold in the past two years or so leaving many wondering who Major really is. Most believe that Major is not stationed in Pakistan and hence doesn’t need to play safe; others have a hunch that our diyar Major is a writer-type (hint: hint: sharam: sharam:).

A sample of his tweets for the uninitiated:  

Annoyed that when Pakistan army was menshuned in the artecal, the customary "Professional and disciplined" was not included.

China is Saudi Barbaria of Atheist dictators. Bious flee to Saudi Barbaria, Atheist to China. Atheists pretending to be bious, flee to UK.

Pakistan to brotest violashun of Sovirginity!! (at ground-level only)

Someone should invent technawlaji to go and burn websites. Why can I burn only NATO trucks, phlags, photus and effigies?

Yindian legislators watching porn!! Who watches porn on mobile phone in Barliament?! Idiots! Screen is too small, use a tablet or a laptop!!

Major collected 100 signatures phrom Lahore Bar Associashun to ban Lahore Bar Associashun coz Lahore founded by Yindoos http://bit.ly/z4EyzR

"Jamaatud Dawa free to collect Eid donations"http://bit.ly/uVXDrJ Their Ban status, like Veena Malik’s age, is ambiguous & contradictory.

At the last Karachi Literature Festival Major had fun scaring other writer-types. He tweeted  that delegates had called for quick prosecution and exemplary punishment for Mustafa Qadri, Punjab Governor Salman Taseer's killer.

Heh heh…started rumor and now waiting phor “defiant librul literature intellectuals” to ijje denials as fast as my AK can phyrr bullets. 

KLF fell for the trap asking people to ignore Major's tweets.
No such statement about blasphemy or Mustafa Qadri is being issued by ANY delegates of KLF.

My personal favourites, however, are tweets on Major's imaginary trip to India following Marvi Memon’s visit last year.

For someone who boycotted Indian music due to principles, "sheila ki jawani" sounds pretty okay.#YindiaVisit

Irregularity filled, corruption ridden land distribution to poor. No army like efficiency for allotting plots.#YindiaVisit

Wrenching poverty causes women to get into degrading professions. Saw song of one "munni" who became badnaam.#YindiaVisit

Yindian youth brainwashed that Pakistan created only in 1947!! Pakistan was formed 4.5 Billion years ago with the rest of earth#YindiaVisit

Major also has a plog where he posts his bearls oph wisdom: To save time and effort for everyone, I present for your gentle consideration: The 'Pakistan is a moderate country' column generator!! The formula itself is very simple: Riveting opening sentence, intriguing provocation of thought, religious mumbo jumbo, meaningless statistics, blame Zia, guilt out the west, demand money, Cashmere or both.

His take on the Thorough brosecution of Mumbai attackers in Pakistan is highly recommended. So are How to borrow money phrom your unkil and How to make your own Ejaz Haider at home. 

Since Major is also an exbert on wimmens he likes to say “hello” to his diyar wimmens all the time. He was last seen tweeting Valentine’s Day messages with loads of “sharam: sharam: hint: hint”.

Then there are those wimmens on Teetar who want Major to notice them -- at least on their birthdays! Much like a celeb, Major obliged a young lady when she requested him to wish her a happy birthday:  “Diyar @PunamKadam Joo look younger and beautiphul todin. What is the occasion?”