A marriage (not) made in heaven...

We've been back for over six months, and even now our most read post is Crossing the Indo-Pak Border -- written in two parts. We get over a hundred hits each day, if not more, from both Indians and Pakistanis obviously wanting to know how to cross the border. 

Unfortunately for them, the post was written in a different context, and does not list "10 hot ways of sneaking into the Indian or Pakistani territory". I can almost imagine their crestfallen faces when they land at our blog with a lot of hope and stomp out in disgust.  

That brings me to the main issue, are there really as many people, in India or Pakistan, who really want to take a peek into the other country. I can't imagine non-state actors googling ways and means of crossing the border.

That leaves me with the only other suspects: Lovers. Who else would want to read a blog and decipher how to cross over. My belief is strengthened by the occasional emails we receive asking us for advice: Should my khala ki beti marry an Indian? Or my friend is marrying this girl from Karachi, whom he had met in London, will he be allowed to visit her family in Pakistan?

I don't know. 

Being a die hard romantic I would want to give wing to such relationships -- you know Milne Do and all that -- but then my head rules over my heart. 

The romantic in me died when I blogged about an Indian lady who had met and married a Pakistani in the UK in the 1950s or so. The marriage lasted only a few years and by then she was a green passport holder. Her return to India was ruled out. Her stay in Pakistan was imminent. A Pakistan which was no longer home. 

My mind raced back to the issue of Indo-Pak marriages yet again when I got an email from an independent Pakistani filmmaker on a related issue. I started thinking if it was really worthwhile to go ahead with such marriages.

It's fine that you do not carry the baggage of Partition, meet in a third country, decide to marry and stay put in that third country.

However, trading passports for a marriage, is not recommendable. I think marriages in itself are tricky and it takes a lot of effort to keep the boats from sinking. Imagine the plight of a wife, it is mostly she who has to relocate, who gets stuck in India or Pakistan after adopting her husband's nationality. I shudder at that thought.

I know its about pyaar vyaar. But is it really worth crossing the border for?

Take the plunge only if you are a braveheart and are prepared to face the consequences if, God forbid, love flies out of your marriage.