Headturner in a headscarf…

Mehmal Sarfraz

Mehmal Sarfraz is my reason to believe that hijab can be a liberating experience for women too!

We met Mehmal a few months after we moved to Pakistan. I liked the way she held her own in a roomful of men and didn’t keep pulling at her headscarf self-consciously.

The only time I have seen Mehmal without her trademark scarf is in a Facebook picture where she poses in a rainbow wig grinning ear-to-ear: “This is why I cover my head!”   

When we were to meet Mehmal in Lahore, her hometown, I decided to carry my safed malmal ka dupatta along – just in case! Much like a famous Hermes scarf-wearer, my dupatta kept sliding off my head and I kept tugging at it as our very gracious hostess showed us her town.

By the time she dropped us back it was past midnight and as I tucked in I concluded that hijab need not be a restraining force.

The next day when Mehmal came to pick us up I did not bother with my dupatta. There was no point faking it. Also, by then, I was sure that she wouldn’t have been impressed this way or that.

Having known Mehmal for about four years, I am certain that a hijab/headscarf is not necessarily stifling. However, I am not so sure if a hijab/headscarf serves its other more popular and basic function – distracting the male gaze – just as well.

I think not – in Mehmal’s case, at least. Blame it on her beauty or her brains the scarf makes her more visible than many non-hijabi women and, if I may say so, a piece de resistance!

What say Mehmal?

Meet Marvi Jr...

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Sadaf Mujeeb may not have taken on a Zaid Hamid yet, but she could well be the next Marvi of Pakistan.

Sadaf is an atheist, an LGBT rights supporter and an animal rights activist who spent a fortnight before Eid gently convincing the faithful to “sponsor” an animal instead of “sacrificing” it. I watched her keep her cool on an animal rights page on Facebook where the faithful threatened to hand her over to the Taliban to be “sacrificed”.

This week Sadaf was busy taking up Rabia Saleem’s case. Rabia, an Ahmadi, was expelled from her university for allegedly tearing up an anti-Ahmadi poster.

“I called COMSATS university about six times to ask them why they hadn't taken any action against people putting up anti-Ahmadi posters around the university, and how what Rabia Saleem did was being considered as anything other than courage and integrity in the face of unrelenting, institution-sponsored bullying...” 20-something Sadaf wrote in an email.

Sadaf openly talks of her religious beliefs (or lack thereof) and is quite sure that "it is evidence of stupidity more than courage”.

“I have, like everyone else who's a minority in this country, faced discrimination based on my beliefs. But  the resulting frustration and anger only encourages me to fight harder for all minority rights, which includes the freedom to express a religious opinion, freedom of sexual orientation, and basically the freedom to live without fear of persecution or rejection from the society as a whole,” she wrote.

However, she considers LGBT rights as her most “controversial fight” yet. “People especially get offended when there is any talk of reconciling ones faith, Islam, with ones identity as a homosexual, transgender or queer.

“It's sad that people fail to recognize religion as something that's personal, and always seem to feel the need to make it part of something that rules an entire nation irrespective of whether the citizens of that nation share those views or not.”

Sadaf has also rescued scores of animals from the streets of Karachi. But, for her, animals rights is not just for the four-legged. “I believe in fighting for animal rights, which includes humans as social animals (irrespective of race, religion, sexual orientation, gender or class), and non-human animals (irrespective of breed)”

This loss was a sure win...

Ayesha and Salman's last picture together

I became aware of 23-year-old Salman Mehmood's existence on October 19, 2009. That was also the day he stopped being. Prominent Pakistani bloggers had been posting updates about Salman's condition, who was fighting it out at a Karachi hospital, and praying for a miracle.

Salman, a Thalassemia major and founder of Thalassemia.com.pk, blogged and tweeted about his condition to make sure no other patient suffered the way his family and he did. Salman had lost elder brother Nauman to Thalassemia, and Ayesha, his youngest sibling, was also living off blood transfusions.

I checked Salman’s blog "Salman Namah" and Twitter timeline shortly after his death. It was hard to believe that he had ceased to exist.

"Dear Diary: Well, right now my mom and sis are giving me ‘pittay’ that I’ll have 12 kids. Khair… I tweeted after three days. Feels weird, it’s like riding a bike after 10 years.

“Dear Diary: Umm hi again. I am very tired right now (it’s 11:23 pm). I have not been very fortunate with sleep this week. But that’s normal...Khair.”

I soon became addicted to Salman’s little sister Ayesha’s blog too – who decided to carry forward her brother’s mission. I recently learnt other details – such as their trip to Chennai in search of a cure shortly after Nauman’s death in 1999. After spending three months at Apollo Hospital the family returned empty-handed, but packed with information on Thalassemia, which was unavailable in Pakistan then.

In 2003, Salman decided to spread awareness about Thalassemia and launched www.thalassemia.com.pk even as he checked in and out of the hospital for “different problems”. Their father’s untimely demise hit them in 2007. However, the biggest blow was Salman’s eventual death due to meningitis.

“It was the biggest loss to our family. It was really hard to get back to life. But as his mission was to spread awareness I took up the responsibility and started managing the website. I also started arranging blood camps and free screening camps, started writing more blogs….” says Ayesha.

Ayesha manages www.iwritealot.com too, Salman’s last project to generate funds for needy patients. She has also started “Sponsor a child programme” and has sponsored five children in just a year.

Each year, 5,000 to 6,000 children are born with Thalassemia in Pakistan, yet there is no government-aided facility for such patients.  

Bindiya chamkegi....

I first met Marvi Sirmed -- a "Bindi wali Hindu" -- at a dinner in Islamabad three years ago. Apart from the fact that I loved her crisp cotton sari, her large round bindi and her shudh Hindi -- I also loved what she stood for -- PEACE. She wished for a truly secular Pakistan and debunked the two-nation theory.

I have spotted Marvi, a Muslim by birth, several times since. Always in her trademark sari and bindi. I am sure many mistake her to be Indian (read Hindu), even though Indians never step out in a sari in Pakistan (at least not in public spaces), let alone sport a bindi!

A few months ago, I saw Marvi being promoted from being "Indian" to "Indian agent" in a television show. I wasn't surprised at all. After all, my little-known and low-profile Pakistani Hindu neighbours are "Indians" too. I once raised the issue with one of the younger members of the family. "We've been living here for decades and everyone knows we are Pakistanis. Still they call us Indians, because we are Hindus!" he said. I felt sad for the boy.

I asked him if he would like to visit India. "Never," was his answer. "If we go to India Pakistanis call us Indian spies, and Indians call us Pakistani spies," he added.

Marvi, of course, is a bigger sinner. She has taken on the high and mighty because she believes in a Pakistan where Hindus and Christians enjoy the same rights as Muslims. For those of you who still haven't seen Pakistan's Jhansi ki Rani take on Zaid Hamid, famously famous for hating all things Indian and, more recently, for calling Marvi a bindi wali Hindu -- please do see this. Bindiya chamkegi!

Pakistan's bravest girl...

Malala Yousufzai

One of the bravest girls in Pakistan, who as a 11-year-old wrote about the Taliban banning girls from going to school in the picturesque Swat Valley and missing watching her favourite Indian serial Raja Ki Ayegi Baraat on Star Plus, has been nominated for the International Children's Peace Prize.

Malala Yousufzai, now 13, was a victim of the ban imposed on girls' education by the Taliban in the troubled Swat Valley over two years ago. Malala wrote about her pain and anguish in a diary for BBC Urdu online.

In one of her very first diary pieces written on January 14, 2009 -- just a day ahead of the Taliban ban -- Malala wrote, "I may not go to school again...The principal announced the (winter) vacations but did not mention the date the school was to reopen. This was the first time this has happened."  

Some of her pieces gave me goosebumps. "The night was filled with the noise of artillery fire and I woke up three times. But since there was no school I got up later at 10 am. Afterwards, my friend came over and we discussed our homework."

She mentioned Maulana Shah Dauran, the Taliban leader behind the ban on girls' education, once. "We discussed the rumours about the death of Maulana Shah Dauran, who used to give speeches on FM radio. He was the one who announced the ban on girls attending school."

Her diary entries included discussions with classmates about the Taliban, who then controlled large parts of the Swat valley and gunned down dozens of people who opposed them. In one entry she describes a "terrible dream" about military helicopters and the Taliban.

"Only 11 students attended the class out of 27....On my way from school to home I heard a man saying 'I will kill you'. I hastened my pace and after a while I looked back if the man was still coming behind me...But to my utter relief he was talking on his mobile and must have been threatening someone else over the phone," she wrote.

       

She also wrote about Maulana Fazlullah, the leader of the Taliban in Swat, who “cried” for a long time on his FM radio channel. “He was demanding an end to the military operation. He asked people not to migrate but instead return to their homes.”

In another entry, Malala rued that she did not like wearing the burqa. “There was a time when I used to like wearing the burqa but not anymore. I am fed up with this because it is a hindrance in walking.”